Chapter 24: False Alarm
Celeste rested her head on her folded arms as she attempted to stay awake and provide her sister with a proper bath.
As she sat on the bath mat leaning over the edge of the tub, she fought to keep her grasp on Tatiyana’s fleeing limbs. “Tati sit still honey.” Celeste whispered struggling to remain calm.
Her warning was ignored as the toddler splashed a mass of water into the air, soaking her sister’s clothing.
“Tati!” Celeste rose from the tile floor quickly shedding the wet camisole. Just as she managed to work the jeans over her hips, the door sprang open and Justin appeared in the doorway.
“Damn.” That one word was all he could make out as the water glistened on her skin. He squeezed his eyes closed for a moment, thinking he was imagining things.
Justin realized he was not hallucinating, she was standing there before him with her jeans low on her hips and her breasts spilling over the lacy cups of her bra.
He smothered a groan as he quickly turned his back to her before speaking, “What happened in here?”
“Tati…she splattered water all over my new outfit.” He heard her aggravated sputters as the sound of wet jeans hitting the floor reverberated off the walls.
“I sorry Cee.” Tati stood from the water, attempting to climb from the tub.
“Tati… wait. Let me get a towel.”
“Justin can you pass me a towel…Justin!” She repeated a little louder since it appeared as though he hadn’t heard her the first time.
With shaky fingers, Justin managed to grab the towel. He tossed it over his head not bothering to see where it landed as he left the bathroom.
“Thanks.” Celeste said rather sarcastically after his hasty exit. She picked up the towel and wrapped it around her sister’s small body, before proceeding to lift her from the tub.
“Tell Justin to dress you.”
After her sister eagerly exited the bathroom looking for Justin, Celeste wrapped herself in a towel and began to clean up the bathroom.
“Jesus!” A sinister frown clouded his face as he released a sound resembling a low growl from deep within his chest. Stupid! Justin silently berated himself for having stormed in the bathroom without knocking first. When he had heard her scream, which he’d mistaken as panic, he quickly bolted into the bathroom without thinking.
Just the thought of backing her against the nearest wall and ravishing her full lips had him clenching his hands at his side. And the lush roundness of her breasts-
“Justin.” The little voice of the toddler pulled him from his seductive thoughts and he turned to her.
“I need clothes.” She grasped his hand and practically dragged him as she led the way to the bedroom.
The sound of Celeste exiting the bathroom echoed through the hallway as her bare feet clapped against the wood planks. She poked her head into the bedroom to check on Justin and her sister.
“I’m ‘bout to head to the laundry mat. You have anything you need me to take along?” Celeste slung the laundry bag over her shoulder.
Justin had tried his damnedest not to allow his gaze to linger on her silky brown legs, but the way her snug-fitting shorts hugged her thighs caused his body to grow with anticipation anyway. Just one quick look.
A quick glance, yet his mouth watered. Suddenly irritated with himself, he lifted his gaze to her face. He shook the thoughts from his head, now was not the time to think about jumping anyone’s bones; especially Celeste’s. What the hell is wrong with me?
He glanced at her as he slipped the shirt over the toddler’s head, “… it’s too late and it’s not safe.”
Celeste rolled her eyes heavenward, “I know it’s too late and not safe, that’s why I was going to ask you to tag along with me.”
“I go too.” Tati squealed, jumping up and down excitedly.
“Celeste I’m not going anywhere. I’m tired as shit.” He fell on the bed exaggeratedly, not caring that he had used foul language in the presence of Half-pint.
“Come on Justin.” She strolled around the side of the bed to sit beside him.
“It’s cold outside woman.” He rolled to the other side of the bed.
“Justin, you’re a fighter, surely your body can withstand a cool breeze.” Celeste snaked a strong arm around his neck and pulled him toward her, with little protest from Justin.
Yeah, but my body can’t withstand this torture. He allowed the scent of her perfume to engulf his senses as he reached to twirl a finger around her curly lock.
“So are you coming along or not?” She grabbed two pairs of his sweatpants from the nightstand and tossed one to him.
“Why should I?” A lop-sided grin appeared on his face despite his inner battle with self-control.
“If you go I’ll give you a mean back rub tomorrow night.”
“…add dinner and you got yourself a deal.”
“And dinner. Thanks Justin!” Celeste launched herself into his arms, laughing excitedly.
She kissed his cheek. “I’m going to look fly for my interview,” she said, smiling warmly as she caught his puzzled gaze.
“Interview where?” Justin released her as she backed away to put on his sweatpants.
“At this little coffee and computer shop not too far from here called Books & Treasures. I’m interviewing for a sales associate position.”
“A job, why?” He stood to slip into his pants as well.
“We need money Justin. Me and Tati can’t depend on you to care for us forever, besides you just quit that side job at the corner store. How can you afford to care for us?” Celeste pulled her curly ringlets into a ponytail and smirked at him.
“Let me worry about that Celeste.” Justin brushed passed her to lift the laundry bag over his shoulder.
As he neared the threshold he turned to her, “Come on.” He urged with strong dislike.
Celeste had no choice, but to follow behind him. When they entered the living room, Tatiyana was waiting at the door with her own laundry bag draped over her shoulder and her hand on her hip. She held her hand out for Justin to take it and he did.
Celeste could hear their chatter as they bounded down the hall, followed by the eager request of her sister, “We stop for ice cream Justin?”
Of course, Justin abided, “Sure.”
She followed, locking the door behind her.
~*~*~*~
Celeste inserted dollar bills into the machine and waited as her change dispensed. She collected the coins and turned around in search of Justin and Tati. She observed him at the information desk talking to the blond-haired, blue-eyed, sales clerk.
Suddenly, a sense of jealousy filled the air as she watched the sales clerk flirtatiously touch his hand. Why was that woman pushing up on him? Does he know her? These were some of the questions running rampant through her mind. She watched as he switched a sleeping Tati on his other hip to reach into his pocket for a pen. Goodness, he is not taking her number! He is!
Justin turned to meet her gaze the minute he handed over the pen. His smiled faltered when he noted her grimace. What’s wrong? He mouthed silently. His question went unanswered as Celeste turned her back on him and walked away.
“Hmph.” Justin ran his hand through his rough mane. What now?
The sales clerk handed him the slip of paper with her name and number scrawled against it. “Tell your girlfriend to call me. I’ll put in a good word for her tomorrow with the boss.” She smiled reaching to touch the toddler’s arm and greeted the next customer.
“I will.” He made his way through the aisles in search of Celeste, when he spotted her backside pointed in the air as she vigorously shoved clothes into the dryer. Leaning against a wall, Justin got a clear view of black shorts molded to her butt. Her short aqua top revealed a sliver of smooth brown skin at her lower back, but all Justin could think about was where the hell her sweatpants had gone.
His hand gripped the handle of the nearby dryer and he bit down the rage that burned in his gut at the heated gazes that watched her. Without thinking, he stalked over to her and forcefully grabbed her arm.
Celeste narrowed her eyes at him. She had sensed him approaching behind her before he had grabbed her.
“Where are your pants?” Justin tried his hardest not to yell at her and cause a scene.
In response to his question, she rolled her eyes and snatched her arm from his grasp. “In the washer.” She said simply.
A tinge of disappointment masked his face as he observed her depressed movements. “Celeste, what’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing. Can you pass me Tati’s clothes?” When Justin did not abide by her request, she pleaded with him to let her be. “Justin please leave me alone for just one second.” He backed away from her.
“Come here Celeste.” Justin softly ordered, holding one of his arms open for her to walk into and she did without protest.
“What is it? Are you worried about your interview tomorrow?” He mindlessly ran his hand along the sliver of skin at her lower back and massaged slow circles into her skin.
“A little frustrated…” The rest of her words faded away as she twirled her finger around one of Tati’s locks. Celeste looked up at him, “Why were you talking to that woman?”
Justin noted the hint of displeasure in her voice and it made him smile, “Are you jealous?”
“What if I am?” Her soft mouth curved down into a pout.
A deep chuckle rose slowly in his chest as he savored her envy, “If you must know…” He pulled the slip of paper from his back pocket and handed it to her. “Debbie works at that place you have your interview at tomorrow; she said she’ll put in a good word for you with her boss.”
“Oh is that all?” Celeste moved out of his arms. She stared at him suspiciously, as he reached to pull her back into his arms.
“That’s it. She thinks you’re my girl anyway.”
“Am I?”
As soon as her words registered in his mind, Justin ended the playful teasing by stepping a few feet away from her. It was all fine and dandy when he opted to initiate a little flirtation, but when she did it, it seemed more like a real relationship. And that was the last thing he wanted.
Celeste hadn’t noticed the sudden detachment between the two of them, which Justin was very thankful.
While Celeste completed the laundry, Justin made himself busy by folding the clothes to the best of his ability. It was safe to say that he wasn’t very domestic, in fact the toddler was better at it.
“That’s Cee Cee’s undies Justin.” Tati began laughing uncontrollably.
“Oh yeah they are.” He reluctantly tossed the sexy underwear aside for his boxers and stood, but a question lingered in his mind. When had Celeste resorted to wearing sexy lingerie? While Justin attempted to sort through his muddled thoughts, he stole another glance at her while she had her back to him. The shorts she wore curved around her hips and hinted just enough at a firm, full rear end. As she leaned forward to extract another load from the dryer, he eyed her with suspicious eyes.
He took the opportunity to question her irregular behavior. He didn’t want to make excuses for her behavior, but his confusion with their relationship lately had led him to do so. She walks around in barely-there clothes, and he says, “she’s probably hot, and I can’t afford air-conditioner.” She even sleeps on top of him most of the night, or curled up against his side, and he says, “she’s probably cold, and I can’t afford good blankets.” It was already next to impossible for him to sleep at night with her warm presence near and now she added lingerie to the mix! It looks as if I’m going to have to start sleeping on the sofa again. Justin plunged his hands into his pockets and rocked back on his heels wallowing in his misfortune.
Celeste turned to him with a smile and reached for his hand, wiggling the tips of her fingers suggestively. He avoided her hand and instead reached for the laundry bag.
Why hadn’t he noticed it sooner?
He couldn’t handle the feelings that were constantly on his mind. Therefore, he locked them away along with “Sensitive Justin” –and he couldn’t understand why those same feelings he hid from the surface of his true self, had suddenly come flooding back. He just wanted them to go away, but they wouldn’t. Every time he looked at her, they returned. Every time she smiled, he felt a flutter. Even half-pint could cause a jolt every now and then.
“Uh what time is your interview?” The least he could do was make an attempt at conversation to minimize the turmoil he was feeling.
“It’s at nine. Bridget will be at the house at eight thirty to walk with me.”
Justin felt a stab of disappointment that she hadn’t asked him to escort her, but she had probably assumed that he would have declined her offer and she probably would have been correct.
“Wake me up before you leave.” He would make sure he asked Ms. Lou to give her a lift tomorrow, just to assure him of her safety. A sickening feeling filled the pit of his stomach at his last thoughts. If he hadn’t known any better he would have thought he sounded like a concerned boyfriend or worse a husband. Justin shook away the distaste in his mouth and lifted the other laundry bag over his arm before following behind Celeste and the toddler.
~*~*~*~
Justin heard the clicking of Celeste’s heels prior to the sound of the blinds being pulled back. Soon after, a flood of sunlight entered the living room, nearly blinding an exhausted Justin.
“Damn it. I’m not ready to wake up yet!” Whining like the child that he was not, Justin flipped onto his stomach and smothered his face in a fluffy pillow.
He felt Celeste’s fingers against his bare shoulder before he realized that she was beside him. Experiencing an immediate jolt of warmth, Justin jerked away from her touch.
Thinking nothing of his withdrawal, Celeste pushed him aside so that she could share the tight space of the sofa with him. She bent to drape an arm around his waist and rest her cheek in the spot between his neck and shoulder.
“Aww I’m sorry Justin. I know it’s early. But you promised that you would see me off to my interview.”
“I know I did.” He admitted, clenching his teeth and ignoring her minty-fresh breath fanning against his neck.
“So you’re up now?”
“Uh, yeah, I’m up. I’m definitely up.” Justin groaned as he moved to sit up. Unfortunately, Celeste hadn’t shifted to give him room, so he had to push up against her just to make space. “Oh shit! My back.” His hand instantly went to the aching spot. Although it wasn’t as bad as it seemed, he’d do anything not to show a reaction to the closeness between them.
“And who’s fault is that, huh? You decided not to share a bed with me last night and I was really cold and lonely.” Pouting, she relaxed further into his embrace.
“Lonely? You missed me?” As soon as the words rolled off his tongue, he realized that he was encouraging Celeste’s flirting and he didn’t jerk away this time when she wrapped his arm around her shoulder.
“Hmm, yeah…” Her mind drifted while her fingers wandered over the front of Justin’s undershirt. “I was subjected to a night of Tati rolling on top of me. You used to be my shield.”
“Yeah Tati kicked and slapped me instead.” While she laughed, Justin used the moment to seize her roaming hand. He held it to his chest and began surveying Celeste’s appearance.
A hair clip secured a sweep of glossy curls on top of her head, leaving a few loose to frame her round face. A light coat of pink gloss brightened full lips. The warm shade of eye shadow and mascara highlighted her brown doe-like eyes that watched him with uncertainty while she nervously chewed her lip. Needing a quick diversion, Justin checked out her attire.
She wore a locket, housing her father’s picture, around her bare neck that hung low between the dip of a sleeveless lavender lace blouse. The empire cut of the blouse emphasized the slightest showing of cleavage with a tied ribbon of a darker hue right below the bust. She donned a fitted black skirt and matching pumps to complement.
She looked great, better than great, sexy but classy. However, when Celeste asked for his opinion of her attire, he only said, “You look nice,” not trusting himself to say more.
“Thanks.” Celeste mumbled.
“Did Bridget help you pick that out? You couldn’t have picked anything that sexy on your own.” She had hoped he would have said more, yet not that. Feeling a little offended, Celeste pushed away from him and stood to retrieve her jacket and purse.
“I gotta go.” She checked the clock.
“I’m sorry.” Justin apologized once he noticed the snappy tone that she was taking with him. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just thought-” He always thought of her as the shy and naïve Celeste, and he still wanted to think of her as such, but it was hard to do that when she wore fitted jeans and sexy underwear. It was damn hard.
“You thought what?” Celeste put her hand on her hip and patiently waited for his answer. Her stance called out to him and he allowed his gaze to travel the length of nylon-covered legs, smooth legs. Damn.
“Justin-”
“Where in the hell did you get that sexy lingerie from anyway? It’s driving me crazy!”
“Really?” Oh great, she was beaming. And now she was coming back over to
him. “I got it from
“Good, thongs are nothing but the devil.” On Celeste, he meant that.
“Oh Justin please.” She giggled, slapping his chest lightly before standing again. “Bridget should be here by now.”
“Oh she’s not coming. Ms. Lou is gonna give you a ride.”
“That’s nice. I wouldn’t have minded walking though. Wait who’s gonna watch Tati then?”
“Me. I’m good with half-pint.”
“I know. Well thanks for setting up a ride for me. Now I know I will get there on time.” He saw her face lowering towards his and before he could stop her, she laid a kiss on him to express her gratitude. It was only supposed to be a soft peck, but she used her palms to frame his cheeks and hold his lips to hers when he tried to pull away. Justin’s resistance didn’t last long, his hands were soon roaming the entire expanse of her back as he pulled her close.
He had been fighting her for weeks now and it was taking a toll on him. He needed relief. And besides kissing never hurt anyone. However, touching did and that’s exactly what Celeste was doing right now.
She was particularly fond of his arms. She liked stroking the length of them in slow and tentative motions. Additionally, she had developed a liking towards his chest too, he realized, when she pressed up against him in a desperate attempt to get closer than she already was.
“Justin?” She moaned, lightly nipping his lips.
“Hmm?”
“Am I doing this right? I mean, how you taught me? Only a little tongue first, right?” Then hers cautiously snuck out behind the prison of her lips to trace the outline of his.
Justin groaned and shoved her away. He then told her to fix herself. “And you’ll need more lip stuff.”
Celeste grinned although she was initially mad at him for pushing her away. “Guess what Justin?”
“What?” He sighed, waiting.
“That was my…” She paused to count her fingers. “That was my fourth kiss. I’m working my way up!” She was sporting a contagiously wide smile again.
Justin shook his head at her nerve while trying not to laugh. “Get outta here Celeste.”
“Okay, okay, kiss Tati for me.” She leaned over to hug him, and only that. “Wish me luck.”
“Good luck.” She flashed a sweet smile, picked up the keys and was out the door. Justin let out a huge sigh.
“Fuck, fuck! I need to lie down and wake up from this dream right now.” Only when he lied down, his body missed the couch completely, and hit the floor, he realized that the pain in his side was as real as his feelings for Celeste.
“Fuck, I got it bad for Celeste. Sweet, naïve, sexy ass Celeste.”
~*~*~*~*~*~
For the remainder of the day, Justin had busied himself with errands, bills, and training, squandering his days on increasingly insignificant tasks to keep his mind off Celeste.
Ironically, while trying not to think about Celeste, he, Ms. Lou, and Tati, had somehow also managed to plan a surprise congratulations party for her. They hung up decorations, Ms. Lou cooked all of the food, and for the first time in a long time, he cleaned his apartment. Still, as busy as he had been, thoughts of Celeste still resurfaced.
While he vacuumed, he thought about how enticingly feminine she looked earlier in the snug-fit skirt and button-down dress shirt, hair done up, and the slightest of makeup accentuating her delicate features. As he cleaned the bathroom, he remembered barging into the bathroom as Celeste was bathing Tati, and what he felt as his mind dealt with the image of Celeste in sexy underthings.
Damnit, why did he have to be attracted to Celeste? It was not what he had wanted, nor was it something he had anticipated. His attraction for her grew as the days passed, yet he was hoping the attraction would ease. At first, he had believed that he was only physically attracted to her, but as he spent more time with her and the toddler, he had begun to enjoy her presence in his life.
Even now as he sat in front of the television barely watching cartoons, he missed her. The toddler couldn’t make up for the lack of adult companionship. Every so often Justin would glance at the clock to check the time. It now read 4:15 pm so that meant Celeste would be home in about an hour or so and God help him, he couldn’t wait to see her.
He couldn’t wait? Was he nuts? Celeste wasn’t the kind of woman a man like him would fool around with, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t continue to fantasize about her. Right?
He knew he had to get a handle on this unrelenting hunger. How difficult could it be? After all, it was only Celeste; he should be able to handle her. All he had to do was keep his zipper up and his hands to himself. The sooner he got that into his head, the better it would be for the both of them.
And just when he thought his mind had finally acquired some peace, Celeste walked in.
“Great.” Justin muttered incoherently. He tried to make himself stop, he really had, but his hungry gaze lingered over her form anyway. He shifted in his seat uncomfortably as he was forced to take a deep breath and greet her.
“Hey Celeste, how did it go?”
Celeste didn’t respond right away, instead she walked over to Justin and took the vacant seat beside him.
Curious, he asked, “What happened? Did you not get the job?” He studied her eyes for a moment before his gaze moved to her mouth waiting for her to speak.
“What’s wrong Cee?” Tatiyana mumbled, but her brown eyes sparkled with curiosity.
Suddenly, a wide smile appeared on her face and she launched herself on top of both of them. Poor Tatiyana had to quickly roll away to avoid being crushed, but she quickly recovered and joined the embrace, latching her arms onto her sister’s neck.
“I got the job!” She splattered his face with enthusiastic kisses then showered her younger sister with some as well.
“That’s nice.” The moment she landed against him, he became acutely aware of the feel of her body, the soft fragrance in her hair and the sweet scent of her skin. She couldn’t possibly know how sexy she looked right now or how hard it was for him to sustain the urge not to put her on her back. With maximum effort, he managed to lift her off him and set her beside him.
Celeste frowned at him, “Well you could at least pretend to be happy for me Justin. I know you didn’t want me to work but-” She stopped mid sentence and fingered the lavender bracelet on her wrists.
Justin sighed in frustration, “I’m happy. We’re happy right half-pint?” He attempted to reason with her but at the same time directing her attention to the toddler.
“Yup! I’m so happy Cee Cee. Ooh we got a surprise for you- oh I’m not ‘spose to tell yet. I keep secrets Justin.” She covered her mouth to suppress her giggles.
“What?” Justin shrugged at Celeste’s suspicious gaze.
Her eyes lingered on his face for a few moments, attempting to decipher the reason for her sister’s odd behavior. “Justin?” Her tone was stern as she boldly leaned into his personal space.
Wiping his sweaty palms on the sides of his jeans, Justin wore a deceptive smile. “Yeah?” A feeling of compulsion floated through him as he fought the craving to lean in and kiss her.
“What’s going on?”
Before he could answer her question, a knock sounded on the door disrupting their conversation. Justin eagerly stood to his feet to greet the visitor. Celeste stood up too, but Justin pushed her back down in her seat, maybe a little too forcefully.
“Sorry.” He apologized and sprinted to the door when the knock sounded again.
What the hell is wrong with him? She turned to Tati who only shrugged in response.
Ms. Lou stepped through the doorway carrying a tray of freshly baked cookies and immediately smiled when she spotted Celeste. “Hey hon. How did it go?”
“I got the job.”
“That’s great. Come on Tati.” She passed Justin the tray and held out her hand for the toddler who eagerly followed.
Celeste rose to intercept them at the door. “Ms. Lou you don’t have to watch her tonight.”
“Oh I know sweetheart. I promised the little one that she could help me bake cookies.”
Celeste eyed the tray in her hand and lifted a curious eyebrow, “But you have cookies in your hand.”
“Um these are Justin’s cookies. I’m going to make Tati her very own special cookies.” She smiled again, pinched Tati’s cheek and departed, closing the door behind her.
“You need a whole plate of cookies for yourself? That’s greedy.” Celeste chuckled and reached to seize a sugar cookie, only to receive a pop on the hand.
“What did Ms. Lou say?” He warned with a playful shake of his finger.
“Sorry,” Celeste quickly apologized with a dramatic pout.
“Well since I can’t have a cookie, do you want to tell me what’s going on?”
He feigned ignorance. “What are you talking about?” He knew that above all, he would have to keep the party a secret. He couldn’t let her ruin the surprise.
“Come on, Justin. You have to know why everyone is acting so suspicious.” She molded a hand to her hips and smiled that slow, sensual smile that heated him from head to toe.
Justin wiped his sweaty palms on his pants again. He tilted his head to the side, wondering if she realized how tempting she looked. “If I tell you will you stop that!” He hadn’t meant to yell, but she was driving him to do so.
Celeste’s eyes widened at his outburst, but she agreed.
He released a deep breath before speaking, “We’re throwing you a party tonight.”
“W-what?” She sputtered in surprise. Turning in the direction of Justin’s hand, she finally noticed the decorations in the kitchen. A small assembly of party supplies lined the hall and doorway of the kitchen, celebrating her new job. Happy tears crested her eyes as she turned to Justin.
“This is so sweet. C’mere.” She opened her arms in preparation of a hug, expecting Justin to walk into them.
Of course he didn’t. Instead, he leaned over intending to leave a chaste kiss on her cheek, but Celeste turned her face causing her lips to land solidly against his. She left a feathery kiss on his lips then pulled away.
“Thank you for this and everything else. I don’t think I’ve ever-”
He never let her finish. Before he could help himself, or stop to consider the consequences of his actions, he cupped her face in his hands and slanted his mouth possessively over hers. The moment their lips touched, his resolve melted. All thought and reason fled, leaving only need, an all-consuming need that pounded through his body and made him greedy for more.
Celeste gasped as he pushed her back against the wall, and he took full advantage thrusting his tongue into the crevice of her mouth. A delicious shiver ran through her as she tried to keep up with the pace of his mouth. She tilted her head to the side to accommodate the force of his tongue, but she wasn’t prepared for the force of his movements.
His hands roamed down her back, spanning her tiny waist, aggressively pressing her against his body.
He kissed her because he wanted-no, needed-to feel the softness of her lips, he had been driving himself crazy thinking about her all day. He kissed her because he hadn’t been able to take his eyes off her today, she was exquisitely breathtaking in the simple attire that clung to her curves and fueled his imagination with indecent thoughts.
“Justin…” The sound of his name on her lips gradually penetrated the thick fog of desire clouding his brain. Sanity returned in slow degrees, along with a healthy dose of self-disgust over the way he’d lost control with her.
Celeste’s long lashes flickered open as he stepped away, clearly frustrated. She lifted a hand and touched her fingertips to her swollen lips.
“I didn’t mean to-” He hadn’t had the chance to finish his sentence when a knock sounded at the door. Justin wiped a hand over his mouth, sighed, and went for the door.
Shock registered on his face as he clearly recognized the unexpected visitor. “Mom!”
Gliding into the room like she visited him on a regular basis, his mother smiled brightly and hugged him though Justin didn’t return the gesture.
“Justin don’t just stand there, introduce me to your wife?”
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