As Long as there is Love -Chapter 9
"What do you mean the twins are mine?" When he repeated it, it was hard to accept it as the truth or not. Hell, it sounded so crazy rolling off his tongue, that he wondered if he was completely sane or not.
Quickly recovering from his so-called insanity, Justin chased after her. He met her at the top of the short staircase just before she climbed the last step.
Nina tried to walk around him, but he purposely blocked her path by grabbing her shoulders. He knew it was the wrong thing to do, but he wasn’t letting her go without some sort of explanation.
"Let me go!" Her arms flared so close to him that he thought she was going to slap him.
"Nina just hold on a minute." Justin dropped his hands, trying to reason with her.
"No." She choked, glaring at him through blurred vision, ready to fall apart in his arms as tears filled her eyes.
She was mad at herself for crying. She made a promise to herself that she’d never cry over him again and here she was betraying that very promise right in front of him.
"Nina come on now, don’t cry." Adjusting to the image of her tear-stained face, he stood there helpless. She had never cried before while he was present. Certainly, he didn’t want to be the reason for her tears, but somehow it seemed that he was.
"No Justin." She pushed passed him. "You said what you wanted to say. Okay I cheated on you, that’s what you wanted to hear, that’s why you came, right?" She paused as if she was waiting for an answer from him, but it never came.
"Fine you can finally leave now."
"No Nina, that’s not what I wanted to hear." He hadn’t meant to make her cry, after not seeing her for five years, after only a short conversation. That was definitely not why he came.
"Oh?" Nina watched him incredulously, "Why don’t I believe you?"
Before he could answer, he heard one of the bedroom doors open from down the hall and the sound of feet pitter-pattering followed.
"Mommy we waiting fo’ ya to tuck us in!" Nikki whined, rolling the ends of her Barbie nightgown. She then smiled up at Justin, "Hiya!"
"Hi uh..." He stopped because he didn’t know which one she was, and that he was loss for words. The way she smiled at him, with her chubby cheeks, and hair in every direction, did something unusual to him.
"I remember ya! Mommy he brought us home cause you were late." She rocked back and forth on the heels of her feet. Her animated gestures made her excitement obvious.
Nina wiped away her tears. Nikki didn’t need to see her crying. "I know. Go to your room short stuff, I’ll be there to tuck you and Little Bit in."
"Okay!" She turned, ready to run back to her room, but then remembered what her mother said about running in the house. She happily skipped back to her room.
That’s one happy child, Justin thought. "Which one was that?" He asked.
Nina turned back to him, with a look that asked, ‘why you wanna know?’, but she replied anyway. "My little Nikki." She smiled her first smile all evening while walking towards her room.
"Nina," He waited until she stopped before continuing, "Can we talk I wanna know what’s going on."
Nina rolled her eyes, "I’m feeling civilized right now so I guess we can talk." She crossed her arms, and entered Cameron’s room, instead of her own. "Start talking."
Justin followed her. "You like to just jump into it, don’t you," He laughed, she didn’t and he realized how long five years had been. He felt as if he didn’t know her anymore, "Ahem, uh okay is what you said true?"
Why would he ask me that? "Go to hell Justin."
"What? I just want to know. Am I supposed to believe you, just because you said so?
I haven’t seen you in what? Five years? But I don’t have the right to have my doubts about Neece and Nikki?"
"Doubt all you want. I honestly think that you never trusted me in the first place." Nina scoffed.
"And you trusted me, right? We were young. We knew that there was going to be trust issues when I moved away, but damn I never thought it would end up like this." He lowered his gaze.
"End up like what? Me ending up pregnant or you thinking I was messing around on you while you were away and that’s how I ended up pregnant." She inquired, swallowing her tears.
He was silent. The cat had caught his tongue and ran off with it!
Nina continued, "You were sneaking through my bedroom window almost every night. Shit I should’ve been ended up pregnant," She admitted, shaking her head. "but I didn’t and I sure didn’t have any time to be f-ing around with anybody else as you believe."
Nina bit down on her lower lip, hard enough to draw blood. Maybe it would get her to shut up since she’d confessed enough to him already, and so easily. He made her feel so vulnerable, so exposed, like an open book. She was certain that he knew what he was doing. That he wanted to upset her. It had never been that way before he went to college. They were close friends but lovers as well.
"So that’s what we were doing? Fucking each other? And I always thought I had been just a naive boy who was in love with his best friend."
"Love please," She huffed, "That’s what we thought because we were young then, but I know better now." Nina knew she sounded cold and heartless, but she was hurting.
For him to say that he was naive and didn’t know any better when he said he was in love with her hurt. All this time she thought they had something special before he moved away, but obviously, she too had been naive.
Justin sucked his teeth as he lifted his head to the ceiling. "So that’s how it is?"
Nina plopped down on the bed, pulling away the hair band to free her long tresses. She sighed, "I guess so."
"You don’t mean that." He said matter-of-factly.
"Know one thing Justin, I say what I mean." Nina confirmed. Though, in reality she’d been tight-lipped about what she really meant. She meant to say that she had longed to see him since she was eighteen, had wished he’d been with her rather than at college. However, she’d rather lie than leave heart open again for him to crush.
"Nina I might’ve not seen you in five years but I remember how you are. Did you forget that every little thought and feeling of yours shows on your face? It’s like wearing your heart on your sleeve. Why do you think I met you at your locker that day asking if you liked me and you got all choked up like you are now?" Justin grinned victoriously. He was grateful that she had shut up long enough for him to get a word in.
Nina averted her gaze to the wall. She hated that he knew her so well, seen right through her, and was able to use it to his advantage. At one time, she possessed those same abilities, but after a while she learned to block him out, figured she’d become immune to him. Now she didn’t know anymore.
Justin knew he was taking a risk, walking over to her but he did it anyway. And to put his life in more danger, he joined her on the bed. What was he thinking?
However, before he could get comfortable. Nina quickly stood up, backing away to the other side of the room. She turned her back to him and leaned on the crib that resided there.
"The last time I was on a bed with you, I ended up with two babies and a broken heart." She finished bitterly causing the tears to reappear.
"Nina, if I had been-if I would’ve known I could have-" Nina raised her hand halting his explanation.
"No need for should’ve, could’ve, would’ve, Justin."
"I wouldn’t have left like you that."
"You did."
"I know, but if someone would’ve told me that you were pregnant, I would have flown back. If there was a phone call, a message, something. I mean I’m not some insensitive bastard. I would have taking care of my responsibilities."
"Ya responsibilities!" She whipped around. "If you’re trying to say you should’ve been responsible for your actions then say it, but the twins are not your so-called responsibility!" He had her so worked up, that she didn’t even realize that she was crying again. She only knew that it felt good to release the stress, to feel drained of all her current problems.
When she was done, Justin was standing before her. He opened his arms; she looked at him as if he was an alien.
"Hey, hey I’m still your bestest friend, right?" Justin said, sounding like he did when they were five-years-old.
Nina shook her head with a small laugh. "Oh Justin I can’t be friends with ya."
"Why not?" Why the hell not?
"We can’t even have a conversation without us yelling and me crying."
"Yes we can, like old times." Then he remembered what the "old times" had been like. "Okay well before we started dating."
"I’d prefer not to." She couldn’t have if she tried, "Now if you don’t mind. My babies have been waiting long enough for me to tuck them in. They’re probably asleep now. You should get Jon and go."
"Can I see them?" He wondered if they resembled him.
Nina thought for a moment of what he was asking. Sure he had drove Neece and Nikki home from school, but this would be the first time he would see them as his children, and not just friends of Jon or Ronnie’s nieces. Would he be able to handle it?
"I’m sure you have someone waiting for ya at home." She decided to spare him the trouble of a difficult meeting.
"Yeah you’re right. I just know my fiancée is worried."
"Fiancée...well congratulations." She offered, staring blankly at him.
"Thanks." Justin smiled, "Can I at least keep in touch?"
"Ya wanna get to know them?"
"I can’t say you’re lying to me anymore than I can say you’re telling me the truth. So I guess it’s the right thing to do."
"Hmm, well that’s that."
"It is." Justin headed out the room. He called Jon, so that he would follow him downstairs. When he made it to the car, he waited before starting the ignition.
Me a father? Hell, he wasn’t even ready to get married. How would he explain this to Michelle?
Meanwhile, Nina shared similar thoughts. How would she tell her babies that they had a daddy? That Justin was their daddy.
How indeed.