As Long as there is Love- Chapter 25
Just as she waddled into the entryway, Ronnie heard the sound of a car door slam shut. She squinted out the frosted glass panels as she recognized Justin heading up the walkway. She swung the door open before he could knock.
“Ya back already? How was the-”
“It sucked.” Justin interrupted and quickly moved inside.
“Really, hmm? Even though you got to rub your celebrity status in their faces?” Ronnie’s question met the back of him as he strolled into the living room. Being that she was ready to give birth any minute now she was slow to follow him. She found him slouched in the large cushions of the sofa, staring off into space while studying the many picture frames on the walls.
“Justin?”
“She knows. She found out. She knows everything. Are you happy now?”
Ronnie gasped, “You told Nina about you and Michelle?”
“I said she found out. Just as she walked into the hall I was talking about it with an old classmate. She didn’t even stay for the reunion.”
“What? Did ya go after her?” She attempted to sit beside him on her own but she needed Justin’s assistance. Once she was seated comfortably, Justin continued.
“Yeah but she didn’t want to talk to me. I had to hunt her down at the old basketball court, but she had already talked to Michelle by that point. So we argued, played one on one and she beat me as usual.” He laughed dryly. “Anyway, between the both of us we realized that five years were wasted for nothing.”
“What you mean?”
“There were chances Nina could’ve told me she was pregnant but never did, and by the time she got the guts to, Shelly interfered.”
“Say what?”
“Michelle was answering all the phone calls and she made sure Nina didn’t see me when she came to visit. Apparently, Michelle was the first one to know about the pregnancy and she never told me. All these years-” Justin inhaled a deep breath, a poor attempt to calm himself. “She was going to let me marry her without saying a damn thing! Hell she probably thought she was going to get away with it.”
“I can’t believe-Fuck!” Following his outburst, Ronnie put her hand on his shoulder. She wanted to ask some questions but didn’t know if she should. Obviously this was the first chance he had gotten to express his feelings, because if she knew her sister, Nina probably hadn’t allowed him to.
“Sometimes it seems as if Nina is more mad at me than she is at Michelle, and Michelle is the one that betrayed her and ruined her life. But the only thing I did wrong was not tell her who I was marrying and she looks at me as if she wishes I didn’t exist. Why?” When his inquisitive stare lifted to Ronnie’s, it was stained bloodshot red with anger, hurt, and most of all confusion.
“It’s simple. She’s not in love with Michelle; neither is Michelle the father of her children.”
Justin shook his head, strongly disagreeing. “Nina isn’t in love with me anymore.”
“Humph. Yeah Right.”
“She told me so herself.”
“Of course. Why would she give you the upper hand? You and I know both know that Nina would rather lie through her teeth than look like the fool again.”
“Maybe, but shit I still don’t know what to do!” He balled
his fists over his eyes. “Nina stayed in
“This is just a big ass mess. I’m glad she didn’t come back cause I can’t deal with this shit either. Surely, my water’s going to break any minute if I get any more stressed out than I am now.”
“Okay that’s my cue to leave because I am mostly definitely not prepared to play midwife tonight.” Justin stretched his arms as he stood.
“Are the twins still with my mom?” Ronnie nodded. “I’ll pick them up then. Can you help me pack up their essentials, I’ll buy everything else.” As Ronnie nodded again, Justin helped her off the sofa.
“Jesus was Nina this big?”
“She was bigger. And call me fat again; I just might break your hand.”
“I never called you fat. I said-”
“Whatever, let’s go upstairs.”
“How much stuff do you think I’ll need? I don’t know when Nina is coming back. Has she called you?”
“I haven’t spoken to Nina since before the reunion which was two nights ago.” Ronnie answered over her shoulder as she led the way upstairs.
“Oh she’s probably mad at you too then.”
Ronnie whirled around on the stairs, nearly losing her balance. Luckily, Justin steadied her. “What is she mad at me for?”
Justin shrugged, “Probably because you knew about me and Michelle and didn’t tell her.”
“You snitch!” She shrieked.
“I didn’t mean to Ronnie, sorry.”
“That’s okay, but damnit I don’t need this shit right now! I’m emotional, hot, and horny as hell.”
Justin grimaced at her candid explanation. He and Ronnie had never spent much time together in the past, being that they didn’t get along, so he found her speech unusual and uncomfortable.
“I swear I am. Just my luck that Travis is working late tonight. And did I tell you that this girl is almost a week overdo?”
“No. But if we just get these things I’ll be out of your way.”
“Little T is staying with Travis’ mother and Tony is over at a friend’s house. You’re going to leave me here all by myself?” She pouted.
“You don’t want me here.”
“I never said that. Plus you’re the only one here so you’ll have to do for now.” She grabbed his hand and pulled him along behind her the rest of the way.
“Come on I’ll show you some more of the twins’ baby books and tell you about Nina’s pregnancy. Cool?”
Justin smiled his first smile in two days, “Cool.”
~*~*~*~*~
Two days ago, Nina seemed content enough to stay in her bedroom forever. However, tonight as she tried desperately to fall asleep, her bed didn’t seem as comfortable as before. Her bed no longer shielded away her fears and insecurities, because two days ago those fears and insecurities surfaced to the forefront of her life.
Prior to the class reunion, she told herself not to worry about who Justin planned to marry because either way it didn’t matter. She also told herself not to be discouraged by Michelle’s upcoming nuptials as well. However, she never imagined that the two of them would be marrying each other. The idea that they were even interested in one another hadn’t ever been a part of her thoughts.
In fact, she figured that after graduating from college, Justin and Michelle had lost contact. How wrong she had been.
According to her grandmother, who had followed her to her bedroom once Quincy had told her what happened, Justin and Michelle had been together five years prior to the class reunion. She claimed that they were together even before the twins were born. Learning that bit of information was a devastating stab to her heart.
Nina clenched her teeth as she admonished herself for being so stupid, clueless really. Justin entered her house almost everyday but was never man enough to admit what part he played in their break up, which was that he had moved on before they were officially over. And Michelle, her best friend, had the nerve to come to her job, flash her ring, but not admit what a betrayer, and ultimately a home wrecker she was.
Justin apologized for forgetting about her and for Michelle for thinking only of herself. Still, all things considered, Nina was hurt, angry, and not quick to forgive no matter the impression she gave Justin and Michelle that night.
Years of friendship, love and trust were twisted, torn apart, and tossed away. And unfortunately, it wouldn’t be easy to rid herself of them. She could possibly do without ever seeing Michelle again unless Justin still wanted marry her, even though she deceived him too. However, she would have to stare in Justin’s face, pretending not to be in love with him, for the next thirteen years or so.
Life could be so unfair sometimes, Nina thought miserably as she rolled onto her stomach and smothered her cries into her pillow just as there was a knock on the bedroom door.
“Nina?” Her grandmother questioned softly, prompting Nina to flop onto her back, annoyed.
“Leave me alone Gramma.”
“But you have a visitor sweetheart.”
“It better not be Justin…” No. “Or Shelly.”
“It’s not. It’s your parents. Honey, they heard you were in town and wanna see you.”
Nina proceeded to groan aloud, but told her grandmother that she would be down in an hour. She had to prepare herself to see the faces of yet more people that turned their back on her.
~*~*~*~
Preparing herself for reconciliation with her parents was as difficult for Michelle as it was for Nina. She wanted to rewind time to when she had never forced Justin to attend the stupid class reunion, Nina would have never realized what a horrible friend she had been, and then she could have postponed this family reunion until she was ready.
However, maybe what she wanted didn’t matter. She was already disappointed with herself and her actions, talking with her parents couldn’t make her feel any worse than always. At least those were Michelle’s thoughts before she walked into her parents’ house appearing distraught and unkempt amongst her polished parents. Her mother especially, seemed previously occupied, wearing wide-leg cream slacks and an off-white scoop neck sweater. Sitting across from her parents in the elegant living room as if they were polite strangers around a conference table, Michelle looked out of place. Sadly, she had never fit in.
Now she officially felt worse than prior to coming here.
“So Michelle what brings you to our neck of the woods? You sounded really urgent on the phone the other night.” The other night she had intended to have this same conversation behind the privacy of the telephone where they couldn’t physically analyze her every word. However, she was barely coherent thus a face-to-face meeting was scheduled.
“I need someone to talk because I messed up.” Following her confession, their expressions remained vague. “Justin and I-”
“What happened between you and Justin?” Her mother interrupted, suddenly curious. That wasn’t merely a coincidence considering how much of a gossip hound she could be. She always jumped on the chance to read something “juicy” about Justin in the tabloids and then report it to Michelle.
In fact, two years into her relationship with Justin, her mother had done just that, reported something she read about Justin.
Her status as Justin’s girlfriend was never conveyed to the public so the media tended to put him in relationships with random women, and a highly insecure Michelle tried hard not to believe everything she read. However, one well written article about Justin’s supposed girlfriend got under her skin. The article that her mother felt compelled to tell her about. The article that caused many sleepless nights because she was overwhelmed by doubts that her mother put in her head. Unfortunately, she had driven herself crazy for nothing when both involved parties denied it as a rumore.
Still, when confiding in her parents mattered, the experience left a bad taste in her mouth. It made her suspicious of whether they were truly concerned about her. However, she decided to trust that this time would be different.
“Justin and I are unofficially on a break.”
“On a break? What does that mean?” Her father, who prior to his questions, seemed nonexistent. He repositioned the cap hiding his receding hairline as he waited for his daughter’s response.
“We might or might not be getting married?”
“Why? What did you do?” Her father asked again, and then as if he realized his accusatory tone, he attempted to sugarcoat his words. “I mean what happened; you said earlier that you messed up.” True, she did say that.
Michelle exhaled a deep breath, “I withheld a secret for five years that I shouldn’t have.”
“Was the secret so damaging for your relationship to now be in jeopardy?” Michelle simply nodded at her mother. “Well…”
“Justin has children and I knew about the possibility of them but never told him.” Her confession gave way to a deafening silence that dropped upon them like deadweight.
“And I knew because Nina told me she was pregnant and I made sure Justin never found out because I wanted him all to myself.” The words rushed from her mouth, barely allowing her parents time to consume the shocking information that they just heard let alone offer a response before she continued rambling.
“Justin and Nina were together? When did all this happen?” Much like Nina and Justin’s parents, Michelle’s parents never knew about their relationship. None of them ever suspected, so to hear that Justin and Nina had children together was surprising.
“Um…” She paused on a sigh, “before we got together.”
“So these children are-”
“Five.”
“Both of them?”
“Yes twin girls.” Michelle attempted a smile.
“Oh my.” Her parents looked at each other rather than gaze upon their daughter with what Michelle knew would be disappointment. Silence conquered the room once again and for a full three minutes no one said a word to Michelle. Her parents whispered to one another while pretended to focus on a lint ball attached to the hem of her blouse.
“So how is Justin handling this?”
“It’s just a big mess, but he actually has a relationship with his daughters now. But as far as his relationship with Nina goes, she’s not talking to either of us.”
“Poor Nina. Why isn’t she talking to him? You’re the one who lied.”
Michelle’s shoulders dropped, “I know that mom.” Her tone held a sarcastic edge, which attempted to mask the aggravation behind her words as she waited for one of her parents to express a little concern on her behalf.
“I’m sure Nina has her reasons.”
“Maybe she’s not talking to Justin because she doesn’t want to accidentally have to talk to you.” Michelle frowned at her father. She wasn’t at all fond of her parents say whatever is on your mind approach. However, this is what she was used to.
When she tried out for the varsity cheerleading team and didn’t make the cut, her parents never said, “Well, there is always next year.” Instead, her parents’ idea of sympathizing with her was to stroke her hair away from her tearstained face and to advise her not to bother with cheerleading because she had the look but not the talent. It didn’t matter that she only wanted to be on the team to be closer to Justin who had been playing on the high school basketball team at the time.
They weren’t much better when she went to them with the troubled feelings she had for Justin knowing that he was dating Nina and that she was pregnant. In their defense, her parents hadn’t known that Nina was Justin’s girlfriend, but she had again looked to them for comfort that she didn’t receive. So she dealt with the emotions herself by making a move on Justin after his unexpected breakup with Nina, when he had been the most vulnerable. Looking back on it now, she realized how selfish and stupid she had been. However, in her eyes, only extreme loneliness and years of neglect was to blame.
“Ok mom, dad, I came here for some advice and possibly some sympathy that I probably don’t deserve, yet need nonetheless. But I can see I came to the wrong people, unfortunately my own parents, who would’ve thought…” Michelle stood and retrieved her jacket from the arm of the sofa.
“I’ll update you on the status of our relationship but don’t look for any wedding invitations anytime soon.”
“Honey have you been crying?” Her mother asked as she slipped her arms into the sleeves of her coat.
Oh my God they’ve just noticed? I’ve been crying for two days!
“Yes, mom. I’m upset, distraught, and sad but I’ll handle it myself...as usual.” Michelle mumbled her last words. She nodded to her parents, finalizing her decision to leave.
As she stepped into the opening of the doorway, she heard her father admit with a tinge of guilt, “We really messed up with her dear.” They were just noticing that as well.
Unable to listening to anymore overdue confessions, Michelle quietly closed the door behind her, wishing that she could talk to Nina, the only friend, other than Justin, who had ever cared about her.
~*~*~*~*~
Ten minutes ago, Justin parked in his mother’s driveway, however he wasn’t at all eager to go inside. He could sense that once he sulked his way into the house, his mother would ask what happened and then he would have to reluctantly tell her.
Along with those issues, he had just
realized that with Nina and Michelle still in
Usually, his routine consisted of all-day visits where he would get them in the morning a couple times a week. On occasions, he might’ve brought the five year-olds home extremely late, yet, he never considered them ever staying overnight, well at least not in the near-future.
He chalked these irritating worries up to the fact that Nina knew more about the girls and that they felt more comfortable around her, especially Neece. However, it was he whom was uncomfortable with the girls staying with him while Nina was more than a phone call away.
If they had a nightmare and couldn’t sleep, he wouldn’t know what to do. If they cried for Nina and wanted to go home, he would be in even in worse shape. And if both girls outright refused to even leave his mother’s house that would probably result in a rare anxiety attack.
Still, Justin couldn’t sit in his mother’s driveway and mull over it all night. He had already told her thirty minutes ago, that he was on his way, and the twins had school tomorrow morning.
Justin instantly sighed as he realized that the task of getting them ready would be a headache in itself. Groaning this time instead, he finally exited the car.
The walk to his mother’s front door seemed too long. In fact, by the time he stood before it, his mother was standing in the opened doorway.
“What took you so long to come inside? I saw you park the car ten minutes ago.” She asked while Justin followed her to the living room. Before he could respond, she turned to him again and pushed the girl jackets and overnight bags into his arms.
“Yeah, I uh, was thinking about something.”
“Oh? What’s going on? You okay?”
“Nothing. I’m cool mom. Where are the twins?”
His mother searched his eyes,
which had averted her in favor of a decorative end table lamp. Realizing that
he was adamant about keeping his problems to himself for the moment,
“The girls are taking a nap in my room. We had so much fun yesterday and today they could barely drag their little butts out of bed.”
“Sounds like a hangover to me. Where’d you take them, to the club?”
His mother turned on the stairs and offered a bright smile over her shoulder, “No nothing like that. We went to that indoor amusement park and on a shopping spree. I had a great time better than I could ever dream. I love being a grandmother.”
“So how was you’re weekend? Oh how was the reunion? Did you see any of your old friends?”
“The reunion, for the short time I was there, wasn’t that bad. But my weekend, it was horrible. Yeah.” He added when his mother stared at him from the landing with wide eyes.
“What happened? Where is Michelle? Did you drop her off before coming over?”
“No Michelle is still in
“Oh honey I’m sorry.”
“I’ll be alright mom. Oh but Nina,
who I also had a fight with, stayed in
“Oh wow! So you have to keep the girls.”
“Yeah.” He sighed, running a sweaty palm over his face. “And Ronnie is stressed because her baby is overdue.”
“That poor girl. Well, if you need me, I’m here.”
“Thanks mommy.” He bent low to kiss her cheek as she opened the door. They quietly entered the bedroom and then Justin flicked on the small lamp. He smiled at the sight of the twins snuggled against each other with a mountain of toys between them. Their little limbs were spread out in every direction.
“They are obviously enjoying that nap.”
“Oh they’ve been asleep since we got home.”
“Man! That means they won’t want to sleep later and they have school tomorrow. That is just what I need.” He knew they were going to be begging him to stay up so he rushed over to the bedside to wake them.
“Nikki, Neece wake up.” Setting aside, their belongings, he shook them both simultaneously. “C’mon girls.” Justin dragged them both to the edge of the bed and forced them to sit up with his arms supporting their backs. Deep frowns marred their chubby faces while their heads lolled heavily to the left. Justin had to catch Neece before her head hit the nightstand.
“Neece.” He called and her eyes fluttered open. “Good you’re up. C’mon we’re going home. You have school tomorrow.”
“I wanna stay with Nana.”
“No you just want to go back to sleep. Where are your shoes?” She pointed aimlessly. Justin chuckled and lifted her into his arms. He moved over to a nearby bench and sat her upon his lap. He proceeded to put on her dress shoes after his mother handed them to him.
“Thanks. Can you put on Nikki’s shoes?”
“Daddy, you didn’t wake Nikki up. That’s not fair. I wanna go back to sleep too.” She pouted as her head dropped to his shoulder. Soon her eyes closed again.
“This one is a manipulator.” Justin whispered to his mother.
“And so were you.”
“Yeah but she didn’t like me too much when we first met and that’s before I told her that I was her father.”
“Well, you didn’t take to well to Paul at first either, remember?” When she first introduced him to the man who would soon become his stepfather, Justin was standoffish and sometimes rude. He often tossed in Paul’s face that he already had a father, even if he didn’t see him often. Later, however, he realized that there was nothing wrong with having two fathers. Now, he and Paul had a great relationship.
“Yeah I remember. I guess she’s more like me than I thought, huh?”
“Oh yeah. I’ve already seen a lot
of you in both of them.”
“Really? Hmm.” He pondered the thought a little longer and then stood. Neece instantly wrapped her arms around his neck as he wrapped her legs around his waist and supported her bottom with one arm. Moaning softly, she snuggled her face into his neck.
“That is such an adorable picture honey. So cute.” Gushing, she lightly ruffled Neece’s curly ponytail before picking up Nikki and securing her little body to her waist as well.
Grunting
“I can make space for her.”
“No that’s alright. I can make it
to the car besides you have their stuff to carry too.” She handed him their jackets and bags again.
They headed downstairs. At the front door,
Justin opened the door, slipped Neece inside and strapped her in. He retrieved Nikki, who automatically clung to him during the transfer, and strapped her in too. He and his mother peaked inside to find the twins staring sleepily back at them.
“Say bye to Nana.”
“Bye Nana.” Followed by, “Love you.”
“Aww bye bye sweeties. Nana’s going to miss you.” She leaned inside to kiss their foreheads. Then, she grabbed Justin’s shoulder so that he was facing her, “And you better bring them around often. I need to see my babies.”
“I will mom. I’m sure Nina wouldn’t mind at all.”
“Okay well drive safe and remember to call me if you need me.”
“I will.” Justin reiterated while
slipping behind the driver seat.
“Alright, I’ll call you when I get home.”
“Good. Oh I washed all the clothes in the bags just in case you don’t have anything for them to wear right now.” He had plenty of clothes for them but having coordinated outfits already in their bags would make tomorrow morning easier.
Justin beeped the horn and pulled out of his mother’s driveway. As he connected with traffic, Neece called for him.
“Daddy, I’m hungry. Can we go to McDonalds? I want nuggets. No I want-I want a cheeseburger. Nikki what do you want?”
“Sure Neece whatever you want.” Justin sighed. This was the beginning of a long night.
~*~*~*~*~
“Daddy, we’re finished our bath!” Justin heard their harmonious giggles and loud splashes of water through the opening of the door. He laughed to himself as he grabbed a pair of towels, toothbrushes, and underwear of the Disney Princess variety. With his arms full, Justin entered the bathroom.
“Hiya daddy!” Nikki smiled a gap-tooth grin, where two baby teeth had fallen out.
“Hey, how can you guys be finished already?” He had put them in the tub less than five minutes ago and that was only enough time to play in the bubbles and dump water on each other. In fact, Neece’s wet hair, decorated with fizzling bubbles, drooped against her shoulders.
“Neece why is your hair wet?” Prior to placing their essentials atop the closed toilet seat, Justin set on the edge of the bathtub.
She cocked her head to the left and peered up at him, “Causssssssse I put my head under the water.”
“Why did you do that?”
“Be-cause I washing my hair.” Again, she responded as if she was annoyed. “Nikki was gonna wash her hair toooo but you-you come in and she didn’t do it.” She poked her lips out for affect.
“I caught you huh?” Justin glanced Nikki’s way. She only fluttered her lashes innocently. The image of her hands clasped in her lap and a smirk on her face was reminiscent of a young Nina. Justin reached over the twins heads for the soap bar and pushed the nostalgic thoughts to the back of his mind.
“Shh-oot now I’m going have to do something to your hair little girl.”
“Mine to?”
“Yeah Nikki.” Her hair wasn’t in much better shape, water or not.
“Oh no.” Nikki frowned, remembering the last time he attempted to redo a ponytail after a little boy snatched hers out at the playground. He only managed to form a tight knot between her hair and the barrette, before giving up and leaving it for Nina to handle.
“Hey!” Justin shouted, pretending to be offended. The twins burst into a fit of giggles. “Stand up haters.” Justin smirked and they obliged, holding onto his hands for assistance. He quickly washed their fronts.
“Turn around.” Then he washed their backs. Unexpectedly, Justin had a laughing fit of his own. The sight of them spreading their little arms and legs against the tile wall made them look as if they were part of a frisking line up.
“Ok all clean. Time to get out.”
“You gonna to take a bath too daddy?” Nikki asked.
“I’ll take one when you guys are asleep.” The words were barely out of his mouth before Neece started whining.
“But I’m not sleepy yet and Nikki not either, right?” They both looked her way. She nodded even though he had clearly caught her yawning.
“Get out of the tub, bedtime.” It didn’t matter how much he tried to hide his frustrations with soft commands while gently lifting them out of the tub, their little faces crumbled anyway. They did exactly what he prayed they wouldn’t do; cried. Both of them.
Aww hell.
“You guys-don’t cry okay, um please-damn what the hell do I?” While the waterworks continued. He quickly dried them off and slipped on their underwear and pajamas. When he told them that he was walking them to their room, they somehow forced themselves to cry harder. Nonetheless, they each grabbed onto one of Justin’s hands as he led the way,
“I d-don’t wa-wanna go in there. It’s d-dark.” Neece hiccupped after almost every syllable.
“And scary.” Nikki added.
“It’s not scary. You haven’t even seen it since I changed it.”
“We don’t wanna. We wanna sleep in ya room like at Nanna’s.”
“You can’t sleep in my room Neece.”
“What ‘bout me?”
Justin sighed, “No Nikki you can’t either. Ya’ll have to sleep in my room, I meant your room.”
“Yeah! You said we can sleep in your room! C’mon Nikki!” They dropped Justin’s hands immediately in favor of one another’s and dashed back down the hall.
“Shit.”
“Ooh daddy you say a bad word-again.” Nikki chided as always.
“So what.” Justin snapped childishly watching them skip into his room, wearing matching flee pajama sets.
He stopped in the doorway, observing as they climbed eagerly into his large bed. They got comfortable, each securing a spot and a pillow of their own.
“C’mon daddy we leave space for ya.”
“Aww how nice.” Justin smirked at Neece the Manipulator, wondering what happened to all those tears while he made a dramatic show of climbing between them.
He sighed and rolled onto his back. Not a minute after, the twins were all over him, snuggling into his sides, throwing their limbs across his, and mistakenly hitting him in sensitive areas.
He groaned yet felt a sense of warmth and unfamiliar emotions swarm inside of him.
Hours ago, he wasn’t much to speak of, mentally or emotionally. His mind was all wrapped up in the devastating argument he had with Michelle and the emotionally draining and confusing argument he had with Nina. However, at this moment, even though he had yet to fully understanding the role of parenting, his children were manipulating him to get what they wanted, and he would probably suffer again in the morning, he couldn’t have been happier.
Switching off the lamp, Justin kissed the girls good night. Then, he laid awake for awhile until he heard the deep even breaths of the girls. As his eyes closed, Neece nudged him awake.
“Huh?”
“I’ma wake up with a nightmare and then you’ll have to make me milk and cookies.” Justin chuckled, running a weary hand across her face.
“Go to sleep.”
“I am sleep. My eyes are closed. See?”
“Neece.”
“Okay.” She groaned, heeding to his warning, “love you…”
“Ditto.” Justin pulled her close to him and then he too fell asleep.