As Long as there is Love-Chapter 24
Entering the hotel room, Justin quickly tossed the rental car keys on the bedside table and his tuxedo jacket on a nearby chair. Following by example, Michelle lowered to the corner of the bed and began removing her three-inch heels. Immediately, her hands went to her aching feet, which had endured much stress throughout the night.
Aside from moseying about the dining hall to catch up with old classmates, she had done a lot of running around trying to get Justin to talk to her after telling Nina the truth. Unfortunately, she had been unsuccessful and now her feet were paying the price.
Sporting a weary expression, Michelle stole a quick glance at Justin. Thankfully, his back was to her; otherwise, she was sure he would have looked at her with disgust in his firm gaze.
“So…” Justin voiced, finally acknowledging her as his first words in more than two hours drowned out the deafening silence that had become so familiar to her.
“What else haven’t you told me?”
Michelle’s gaze hesitantly shifted to his as he lowered to the other end of the bed. “You’re talking to me now?” As soon as she uttered the words, she knew it was wrong to say. She had no right to be mocking about anything, especially when it was all her doing.
“If I didn’t want the whole truth I wouldn’t be.” Justin snapped.
Michelle rolled her eyes heavenward. She really didn’t want to start another argument so she’d give him what he wanted. Yet, there was one problem…”I already told you everything.”
“Hmph. Everything?” He sounded bitter and doubtful.
“Yes, Justin, everything. You would’ve heard me if you were listening.” She mumbled towards the end.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Right.” Justin paused to drag a hand over his eyes. Attempting to have this conversation with Michelle was more difficult than he could have ever imagined. In fact, until tonight he could have never imagined having a conversation of such nature. A conversation based on five years of secrets and deceit, with his wife-to-be as the deceiver. It was a lot to cope with on top of rebuilding a relationship with Nina, who was betrayed by both he and Michelle. He sighed frustratingly into his palm. How did it ever get to this?
“So…” He started as he had earlier. “Tell me again. No—wait, tell me what you told Nina.”
Michelle groaned, fighting the urge to cry, and knowing she didn’t deserve this. She deserved the angry words thrown at her. She deserved to be called a liar. And Nina had a right to doubt their friendship. However, she didn’t deserved Justin taking stabs at her to make himself feel better. Besides, she understood the extent of her issues just fine without his help.
“No.” Surprisingly, he didn’t deserve an answer as much as she didn’t deserve this treatment.
“No. What do you mean no?” He gripped the edge of the bed to calm himself. How dare she not tell him the truth when she so openly told Nina? Why is it that everyone ignored him? Nina hadn’t given him the chance to explain himself, yelling and cursing, and walking away. Yet, she actually sat down to listen to Michelle and didn’t dare interrupt.
And now, Michelle wouldn’t give him the benefit of the truth, but gave it to Nina.
“Fine.” Justin stood abruptly. “Don’t do me any favors.”
“Justin.” Michelle held up a hand to stop him. He jerked away but he didn’t move any closer to the door. “I’m not going to discuss with you what Nina and I talked about. That was between me and Nina.” He nodded. “Ask me anything else.”
“Okay.” Justin returned to his seat. He thought for a moment. “Nina always told me that she had written me letters about the twins. Whatever happened to those?”
“Never saw them.” She answered without a moment’s hesitation.
“Really?” There was that cloud of doubt again.
“I said I-I
Justin, attempting to keep a lid on his emotions too, turned his eyes away from the pitiful image Michelle presented. “So either they got lost or Nina never sent them.”
“Maybe they got lost.” Michelle voiced her agreement in a whisper. She didn’t want to fault Nina for anything.
Deciding to let it go, Justin fished for more answers to his unanswered questions. “Well, maybe she called me, did she?” Michelle nodded, too ashamed to confess in words. “You answered?” She nodded again.
“She visited once too.” She tucked her bottom lip between her teeth when Justin’s eyes grew wide with disbelief. “I stalled because I didn’t want you to see her. She was pregnant and anyone could tell. I mean, she couldn’t walk without waddling. And I knew if you would have seen her, you would have-”
“I would have married her.” Justin finished for her. It was the only true answer he could have given to end this matter of would haves and what ifs.
Michelle gasped to numb the pain in her heart. It hurt to hear him admit what she always knew would have had happened if she hadn’t taken him from Nina. She hadn’t felt this horrible since at ten years old, her parents, unlike the other kids parents, skipped the chance to see her away to summer camp and go on a romantic cruise to save their already failing marriage. Nostalgia overwhelmed her and she wanted to curl up in her bed and cry herself to sleep in memory of that day.
Thunderous footsteps were heard thumping up and down the long staircase as little Michelle ran back and forth to her bedroom to retrieve her packed bags and placed them by the front door like her mother advised. Although she had plenty of baggage, she didn’t mind for she was too excited about today’s trip. Summer had finally arrived and she was going away to camp for two months with her best friends, Justin and Nina. She had been planning this vacation since the New Year arrived and couldn’t wait any longer. Besides the loads of fun that she would have at camp would more than make up for the busted 10th birthday party she had months ago.
Sitting down the last of her things, Michelle turned towards the stairs and yelled for her parents. “Mom, dad, I’m ready!” When she didn’t receive an immediate reply, she called again, “Hurry up you guys. I have to get to the school or the bus is gonna to leave me!” She stomped a foot for the extra effort.
“Hmph. That should get their butts moving.”
“Coming sweetheart, just give us a second.” She smiled at her father’s voice floating from upstairs.
“This is gonna be the greatest summer ever.” Bubbling with excitement, Michelle retrieved her pink flower drawstring bag from the floor and slipped her arms through the loops. She wanted to keep this with her at all times because it held the notebook where she would later record all the great things that happened at camp. She also had a matching pink flower camera and she was hoping to take lots of pictures of her, Nina, and Justin having fun.
As she secured the bag to her back, she heard what sounded like someone trying to kick down her door. When she swung the door open, Justin was standing there. His dirty blonde hair was bigger than his head and his extra-large clothes swallowed his small body. Michelle thought he looked cute, but she would never admit it.
Out of breath and eager, Justin asked if she was ready to go.
“Yeah I’m ready, but…” She paused as a moment of confusion passed. “I’m waiting on my parents. Why aren’t you at school already?”
“Cause I’m waiting for you.” He shrugged and stuffed his hands into the back pockets of his cargo pants.
“Why are you-” Just then, her mother was making her way gracefully downstairs. She was wearing dark shades, a new sundress, her favorite pair of sandals, and finalized her stunning appearance with a light coat of lipstick and eye shadow.
“What was my little drama queen whining about this time, hmm?” She asked, ruffling her daughter’s curls.
“I just wanted you to hurry up.” Michelle mumbled. “Why are you dressed so fancy? You’re only taking me to the school.”
“You know I always have to look my best dear. Oh your father’s on his way now dear.” She flashed a smile then wiggled her fingers at Justin. “Oh hello Justin.”
“Hi Ms. Nancy.”
“You’re all packed up Justin, right?” When he nodded, she smiled. “Good, well, be a darling and help Shelly take her things to your mother’s car.”
“Why are we taking my things to your mom’s car?” Justin only shrugged and began doing as he was told.
Michelle watched Justin struggle down the porch with her luggage before turning to her mother. “Mommy, why am I packing things into Ms. Lynn’s car? Did we run out of space?”
Her mother giggled. “No dear, run out of space, that’s absurd. Ms. Lynn is going to drop you off. Your daddy and I have to go, otherwise we’ll be late.”
“Late for what? We still have time.” Justin rushed past her to retrieve more bags and then rushed back out.
“Oh no honey we don’t. Your daddy and I have to be at the dock in twenty minutes or we’ll miss the boat.”
“Boat? What boat?” Michelle glanced quickly at the door and noticed that her luggage was not the only luggage resting by the door.
“We’re going on a cruise to the Bahamas sweetheart. It’s going to be so romantic!” She ended her explanation with a sigh.
“Cruise? B-but what about me? Everybody else is gonna have their parents waving goodbye from the parking lot and I won’t have mine.”
“Oh don’t whine honey, Warren women do not whine.” Nancy pushed in Michelle’s poked out lip. “And you’ll go to camp again and your father and I will be there.”
“But mom-” She stopped herself from whining, “It won’t be the same next year. This year is the year of first. I am finally old enough to fish and go water rafting!”
“Oh sweetie that’s great. Make sure you and Nina take plenty of pictures, okay?” She patted Michelle’s cheek for effect. She then turned away. “Dan, honey come on now, we’re going to be late. I’m going to start packing up the car!”
“Shelly, you want to help mommy?” Michelle shook her head. “Oh honey don’t be like that. Grab that small bag.” Nancy left without waiting for a response. Michelle had no choice but to follow orders.
As she reached to retrieve the bag, her father stopped her. “Hey wait pumpkin, I’ll grab that one, it’s heavy. Here you take the little one.” He put a lightweight bag into her arms. Michelle pouted as an excuse to keep her from crying.
“Aww sweetheart what’s the matter?”
“I’m gonna be gone for two months and you and mom act like y’all aren’t going to miss me! Just go on your stupid cruise I don’t care!” Michelle dropped the bag and ran out to Ms. Lynn’s car. She hopped into the backseat and slammed the door.
“This is gonna be the worst summer ever.” She leaned her head against the window while hot tears burned her cheeks.
Michelle swung her legs into the bed and stretched out against the mattress with her back facing Justin. The moment her head touch the pillow, she raised her hand to her cheeks and found those damned tears again. Backhanding them away, she began pleading with Justin to leave her alone. He didn’t move right away for confusion had him rooted to his spot.
“Please Justin go away, anywhere, I don’t care where. I just want to be alone. Go to Nina, go on. You know you want to!”
No, actually, he did not. Michelle’s heated words were enough. He wasn’t ready for Nina’s.
“No, Justin go on, apologize to her or something. She needs you.”
True, Nina did deserve an apology from him. However, he and Michelle weren’t done working out their problems. And witnessing her current behavior, he was sure it would be awhile before he made it to Nina.
“Shelly, I think-”
“Justin please, get-out-of-here.” Her command faltered amongst the myriad of tears.
Not remembering her crying this hard since her childhood years, he had no choice but to abide by her request. Justin stood and moved away from the bed towards the door. He glanced at Michelle’s back, wondering if he should comfort her one last time.
“Justin, I’ll be okay, go.” Hearing Michelle’s whimper of assurance, Justin retrieved his jacket, car keys, and left.
Seconds after the door clicked shut behind Justin, Michelle fully succumbed to the emotions of sadness and sobbed as if her heart was breaking. Finally, after several long moments, she decided to clean herself up. She grabbed a few Kleenex’s off the nightstand, dabbed at the ruined makeup around her eyes, and then blew her nose.
Stretching towards the nightstand again, she paused in reaching for her cell phone. Who was she thinking about calling at one in the morning? Justin? To see where he ran off? Probably not. She told him no uncertain terms to leave her alone.
And she could cross Nina off the list. Her ex-best friend would not comfort her as she used to.
How about her parents? Well, they didn’t exactly understand the meaning of comfort. She had stopped pleading for it long ago. Still, Michelle knew most of her problems stemmed from issues with them. And if she wanted to fix her relationships with Justin and Nina, she would have to start from the beginning.
Michelle snatched up the phone before she lost her nerve. She dialed the digits slowly as if trying to jog her memory for the right combination. It had been too long since she dialed the number of the household where she spent all of her childhood. When the phone rung twice and her mother picked up the extension, she knew she had dialed right.
“Hey-hey, mom. Wake up, it’s me.” She whispered. “I need to talk to you.”
~*~*~*~*~
She angrily tossed the basketball at the hoop and let out a low groan as it smacked against the backboard and bounced off the ground.
“Damnit!” Nina retrieved the ball from where it landed near the park entrance and held it against her chest while the cool night breeze whipped around her. Basketball was her savior. She played when she was scared, she played when she was confused, and she played when she was angry. She had been the star player on her high school team and had planned to transfer her skills onto college until she had found out she was pregnant. When she believed that Justin had left her pregnant and alone, it broke her heart, which made her practice harder until she had to give it up for the welfare of her children.
There was just something so soothing about it that helped her release all her tension. When the ball was in her hands, she could feel all her troubles soaring out of her body. However, tonight the basketball became a meaningless object.
Nina usually relied on the activity of basketball to reveal the solution to whatever problems existed in her life, but tonight the basketball just could not serve its desired purpose. For starters, she hadn’t made one basket. Additionally, several unanswered questions remained, which could only be answered by Justin. However, she couldn’t bare to see him right now, she couldn’t bare to see anyone.
She threw the ball in the air again and it bounced off the rim. A frustrated sigh erupted from Nina’s lips. Screw this, she decided not to chase the ball as it hit the wires of the metal gate and rolled away. She only watched it miserably from a distance.
In the meantime, Nina paid no attention to the lone figure approaching while studying her. The figure stood behind her, close enough to touch, yet still too far away.
“I knew you’d be here.” Nina whirled around towards the hesitant voice. A shaky hand flew to her furiously pumping heart. Wide, but puffy eyes shined bright with shock as she registered her untimely visitor as none other than Justin.
Grimacing, she didn’t bother to acknowledge him. Instead, she went in search of her missing basketball. A tentative hand reached out to stop her. Nina eyed the hand until it dropped from her shoulder.
“Uh, I brought one with me.”
She scrutinized him through weary eyes. “Why would ya do that?” He had to strain to hear her over the wind.
“Because I was hoping I could talk to you.” He remained carefully rooted to his spot while waiting patiently for her answer.
“No.”
Justin rubbed his hands together as more of a nervous reaction than to warm them. “I wanted to apologize.”
“Very well. Apology accepted.” Nina snatched the ball from his grasp and walked away.
He chased after her and stood silent as she aimed for another basket she didn’t make.
Justin stuffed his hands into the pockets of his tuxedo, which he hadn’t bothered changing, to keep from reaching out to her. “Look at me Nina.”
With a heavy sigh, Nina waited until the ball bounced in her direction and then mustered the courage to stare at him, straight in the eyes. “Don’t waste your time Justin. I just need to-”
“Nina.”
The rest of her protest died on her lips. Damn. Why did he have to say her name all soft and whispery? Her knees actually went a little weak, and she didn’t need weak right now. She needed the strength she had built over the last five years after he’d abandoned her. Yet she turned back to him.
“Listen, I know it’s a little bit of a shock-”
“Shock? A little bit of a shock?” Nina said flippantly.
“All right. Maybe that’s an understatement. The point is I want to explain a few things.” Justin stared at her with pleading eyes.
“Well you’re five years too late.”
“Nina don’t you think I know that! I know.” His voice lowered as he swallowed his regret, regret for the time he wasted. “But damn, just give me a chance! You let Michelle talk, why not me?”
Yes, why not him? Why had she given Michelle the golden opportunity to explain herself and all her kept secrets? Yet, one word from Justin and the emotional dam broke. She could never make herself sit still long enough to listen to him admit how he had done her wrong.
Hearing that a friend had betrayed you was hard. Hearing that the man you once loved had betrayed you was even harder.
Watching her, Justin took note of her trembling lips and her stance, though athletic in a pair of sweats, visibly slumped with dejection. Ironically, still, the stream of wind passing through carried her lengthy sleek tresses in a wild, yet graceful heap around her face. She was painfully gorgeous even though her eyes were black pits of despair.
“Nina?” He pressed on with the knowledge that he had caused some of her pain, tugged at his heart.
“Not right now. I need time. I-I’m still hurt-hurting.” Her gasp ended with a broken sob. Confidence faltering, she turned towards the offending net that had been giving her a hard time all night. While setting her stance to attempt yet another meaningless shot, Justin seized the ball just as she released it. Frustration of the worst kind surged through her body. Justin had ruined her therapy session.
“Leave me alone Justin!” Nina reached for the ball, but Justin jumped back.
“Leave you alone? Why? You are not the only the one that is it hurting. You forget Michelle lied to me too! Not just you.” He stabbed a finger in her direction.
“Yeah, well you both lied to me. So what am I supposed to do now, huh?” She cried.
Justin sighed. He thought he had been getting through to her, obviously not. “Let me explain myself. You still haven’t given me that chance. Five minutes that’s all I’m asking for. Five minutes.”
“What the hell do ya have to say to me that is so important?” Wiping at her eyes, Nina appeared to be patiently waiting for his response as she frowned silently. Justin was surprised that she had actually listened to him for once. The old Nina wouldn’t have done that.
Using his utter disbelief at her reluctance to her advantage, Nina seized the ball from his hold. She would now resume her therapy session, which she was sure she would need it after hearing what Justin had to say.
Thus, she had to prepare herself. She began dribbling the ball against the blacktop and made a determined drive towards the basket. If she made just one net, she’d be okay. Just one. A small victory that she could take home with her, where she would continue to nurse a broken heart.
While Nina thought she was preparing herself, Justin thought she was making a hell of an effort to get away from him. Still, he didn’t have the heart to be happy when she failed to make the basket. He picked up the ball and went to stand by her as she hung her head, sulking.
“What are you doing? You’re supposed to be listening to me?”
“Say something worthy of listening then.” She challenged with false assertiveness. Who was she kidding, she was about to break. “Check the ball.”
Justin bounced the ball in her direction prior to playing the defensive position. If he needed to play her one on one, just so she would listen to him then so be it. Besides, he could use the exercise as a method of therapy too. “You know-” He shifted, blocking Nina when she shook him with a quick dribble to left, “despite what you think, I didn’t leave you for-Shelly!” His voice raised a bit as he tried to keep up with her, which was seemingly difficult to do wearing a three-piece tuxedo. “It was never like that.”
Nina rolled her eyes as she defended against his blocking efforts with a sharp elbow. She initiated a nice spin move, but he trapped her, his front against her back.
“We didn’t go to NYU together to creep behind your back.” His chest bumped the back of her head. Her hip bumped his pelvis. “I know that’s what you thought.”
Infuriated that Justin was crowding her and still knew her so well despite years of separation, Nina pushed back against him. “That’s not what I was thinking.” She lied.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about!” She wailed, totally winded from tonight’s stressful activities.
“I do. See you think that while you were pregnant and sadly confined to your room, Michelle and I were living the college life, partying, and meeting new people.” When his hands reached around her to make a play for the ball, Nina immediately jumped out of harm’s way. She had just registered the extent of their closeness.
Now facing her, Justin was more intent on paying attention to the reaction his words produced rather than keeping her from scoring.
“You’re wrong though. I didn’t party. I was too worried about why my girlfriend stopped calling me.” He held up a hand to halt the protests that he knew were coming. “I know now that Michelle was intercepting the calls.” The truth of it still stung.
Now needing to tell her what he had been thinking all these years, Justin grasped her hands, still holding the ball between them, and prohibited movement.
“I remember the last time I visited you in Memphis. I think it was around Thanksgiving or something. Anyway, I came to your grandmother’s to surprise you. And-” He laughed, smiling at the memory, “before I could get through the door, you were all over me.”
“Ah! Justin what are you doing here?” Hardly able to contain her excitement, Nina trapped him by the door with constant questions and affectionate kisses.
“Hey babe, I’m struggling here with this plate, you think you can let me in?”
Finally acknowledging the large plate of mash potatoes, biscuits, turkey, greens, and macaroni and cheese, she jumped out of the way to let him in. And…the combinations of scents were making her stomach churn. Wearing a wide smile, she commended herself for not throwing up instantly.
“When did ya get here?” After quickly shutting the door, Nina rushed over to the bed to sit beside him.
Justin stuffed his face with food for a few minutes instead of replying. Nina, who was still beaming with happiness, observed his appearance while patiently waiting. His eyes were still as strikingly blue as she remembered. Yet, everything else about him seemed to change, in a slightly more mature way. She encountered a little peach fuzz on his chin, so it was obvious that he was trying to grow a goatee of some sort, which wasn’t the only thing growing. It seemed that skinny boy Justin had grown some man muscles. In awe of the three-month transformation, Nina had to stop herself from touching him while he was clearly enjoying his meal.
“Mmm, I love your grandmother’s biscuits. Did you eat?”
“I’m not really hungry.” She mumbled while Justin resumed eating. He licked the corners of his mouth before continuing.
“Oh I got in town yesterday, but I chilled with mom and Jon. Boy has he gotten big. And today, I came right over after dinner with the family. I didn’t call because I wanted to surprise you. Surprise!” Justin grinned before eating a healthy serving of greens.
“Thank you.” Nina giggled. “It was sweet.” She kissed his cheek, making him blush.
Justin was a little apprehensive around her because they hadn’t physically been around each other for three months. He didn’t know what to say, do. In fact, he felt somewhat awkward sitting on her bed.
“I see the college life has been good to ya. My baby has man muscles now.” This time she did reach out to squeeze his arm.
Justin blushed again. He put his plate aside so that he could give her his full attention. They needed to get used to each other again. He missed her, desperately. “How’ve you been though?”
Nina tensed. She didn’t want the conversation to turn to her. She didn’t want to talk about herself, especially when she had something to tell him that she was too scared to say. Therefore, she answered as simply as she could.
“Um, I’ve been good, I guess. I’ve been staying with Gramma and Pop a lot though.”
“Yeah I can tell you’ve been eating plenty of home cooked meals.” He joked just to lighten the mood.
“Really?” Nina choked.
“Yeah it shows in the stomach area.” Justin laughed, patting her belly to emphasize his point.
“Oh my God, really!” Covering her mouth, she jumped up from the bed. Was she really starting to show? If so, that meant she wouldn’t be able to hide it from her parents or anyone else much longer. Worse than that, Justin thought she looked fat. Tears instantly came to her eyes.
“You think I’m fat!” She sobbed, trembling.
“What!” Justin immediately jumped up when he realized that he had offended her. “Babe I didn’t say you were fat, did I? You look great.”
“Oh you don’t have to lie to me. I know I’ve gained weight.” She turned, focusing her teary gaze at the mirror. The first thing she noticed was that she was pudgy. Now she really didn’t have the heart to tell him about the baby.
Justin was at loss for words while watching Nina cry. He couldn’t understand it. He didn’t think his joke was offensive to the point of tears, but clearly he was wrong. One bad joke and Nina was an emotional wreck.
Not using another minute to hesitate, he moved behind her. In the mirror, Nina watched Justin place his hands against her offending midsection.
“See you’re not fat. So stop crying please.” His begging only made her cry harder.
“Nina? Babe? What’s wrong? Is it your parents? You said you were staying with your grandparents. Are they giving you a hard time about not going to college?” He brushed her hair back and kissed her forehead.
Nina stiffened. Justin had given her a way out. Her parents. She could concentrate on her problems with them. “Yeah. They really wanted me to go. I told them I would go eventually.” She never told them why she never went in the first place.
“Then they should get off your back.” He watched in the mirror as Nina gave him a watery smile.
“I knew you would take my side.”
“Always. I love you, right?” She nodded and he kissed her cheek.
“And you love me, right?” As she fixed her mouth to return the endearment, a familiar nauseating feeling overwhelmed her.
“I think. I’m gonna be sick.” Nina covered her mouth and dashed out her room towards the bathroom.
“Nina!” Justin chased after her. Pushing the door open, he witnessed a disturbing view of Nina on her knees, retching into the toilet. Afraid to touch her, Justin retrieved a hand towel from the linen closet and waited for her to empty out all of the upsetting foods in her stomach.
When she was done, Nina climbed to her feet. She stared at her reflection in the mirror and noticed Justin. She went rigid when his questioning gaze connected with hers. He wasn’t supposed to follow her.
“Justin-” Her explanation ended when Justin handed over the towel. She wiped her mouth while he continued to scrutinize her.
“Nina are you o-” This time Nina interrupted him by making another dive for the toilet.
“Nina,” Justin began, his gaze sparkling with suspicion. “That last time I came to visit you,” He paused, not exactly sure how to word his question and he was scared to hear the truth, “you were already pr-pregnant, weren’t you?” Nina averted her gaze to the ball rolling away from them rather than replying, ironically, giving him his answer.
“Oh God! You were!” Justin slapped a hand to his forehead and looked to the night sky to gather his thoughts. Moments later, his intense glare centered on Nina. He moved in on her. Impulsively, Nina backed up. “That’s why you were sick that night. Not because you had a stupid stomach virus.” He got choked up just remembering that lie she had told him.
“You let me walk out of there the next morning and didn’t say anything. How could you not tell me Nina!” Justin screamed, hoarsely.
“I don’t know!” She screamed in retaliation and began to walk away. However, Justin halted her in mid stride, grasping her arm, and rushing her towards the pole securing the backboard and net. Nina yelped in surprise and slight pain as her back collided with the metal object.
“Let me go!” She cried, flailing her fist at his chest. Noticing her discomfort, Justin let up a bit.
“You can’t walk away from me yet. I want to know why. I mean, when I left that day your grandmother was giving me the evil eye and I was wondering what I had done wrong.”
“I was afraid okay and you have no idea what’s that’s like.” Her small frame now heaving with sobs, she stabbed a finger at him. “But I knew I couldn’t keep it from you forever so two weeks later I called. Michelle answered the phone and I ended up telling her instead. She was the first person I told.”
“I still can’t believe she never told me.”
“She wanted you for herself.” Nina admitted, whimpering.
“She said that?” Nina nodded. Emotions of anger finally got the best of Justin and he cursed. He, Nina, and Michelle were all to blame for the five years wasted. He was too prideful. Nina was too afraid. And Michelle, well, she was just wrong.
Justin’s head swam. His stomach lurched. Dizziness settled in. Needing to take a seat, he searched for a nearby bench. He found the one that he and Nina used to favor after school and whenever they wanted to be alone. Strolling towards it as fast as his stiff legs would allow, Justin promptly yet lazily dropped to the bench.
Knowing what it was like to find out that everything wasn’t as it seemed, Nina allowed Justin time to cope alone, just as she had intended to do with her basketball therapy session before he showed. Speaking of therapy, she quickly decided that she was still in need of some, and went to retrieve the basketball from a ditch.
As she walked by, Justin lifted his head. His bright eyes said he wasn’t crying, but he surely wanted to. Nina stopped, stared, and wondered. She wondered what she could say to him. She wondered what had him so upset. Was it because when she actually had a chance to tell him she was pregnant she didn’t? Or, because he realized that while he was hiding his Michelle from her, his Michelle was doing some hiding of her own.
Oh the irony, Nina shook her head as dry laughter escaped.
Hearing her laughter clearly, Justin’s gaze narrowed at Nina as she reclaimed the basketball. When she turned in his direction, he questioned her amusement.
“May I ask what is so funny?” He stood.
Nina quickly shrugged. “Nothing…except, Michelle didn’t tell ya that she knew about the pregnancy because she didn’t want you to be with me. And you didn’t want to tell me about Michelle because you didn’t want to hurt my feelings. Yet, amazingly, you decided to date her anyway, and then asked her to marry you!” While sarcasm tinged her words, those unwanted yet persistent tears stained her cheeks. Disappointed in herself, Nina balled her fists against the ball at her hip.
“What in the hell made ya think that would be okay with me?” Her voice caught. “Why would I ever be okay with you leaving me for my best friend?”
“I told you that it wasn’t like that. We just kind of happened after a while.” As much as he had to fight to get those words in, Nina dismissed them with a wave of her hand while she took a trip down memory lane.
“I waited in Memphis for you like an idiot. We hadn’t talked for months but the day I went into labor I kept hoping you would somehow show up at the hospital.”
Unexpectedly, she began laughingly again. “It was so crazy. I wouldn’t let the doctors start the cesarean because I was convinced you would come rushing in the delivery room any minute and I didn’t want you to miss the birth of ya babies.” A tear slipped down her cheek to the corner of her mouth. “I just wouldn’t accept that you had abandoned me. I was foolishly in love with you.” And I still am. The truth washed over her as she found Justin observing her knowingly.
“I’m sorry Nina.” Justin stood before her. Regretful arms slid around her waist and he pulled her into a close hug, as close as they could get with a basketball between them. Nina braced a fist against his chest as sadness clutched at her heart.
“Don’t touch me.” Feeling fragile in his arms, she writhed against his hold.
Justin maintained his hold on her, snuggling her face into his dress shirt. “I never wanted to hurt you. But I should’ve finalized our breakup first before starting with Michelle. Hmph, I guess I was in denial. I didn’t want to believe we were over, yet months passed, and I was lonely, and Shelly was there. The rest kind of fell into place. I always thought about you though.”
Thinking he only added the last line to make her feel better; Nina got angry and pushed him away. “Would you shut up?”
“That’s why I was scared to tell you about Michelle. I didn’t want you to hate me. But you do anyway.” Staring up at him, Nina almost disagreed with him. “I mean, I was able to tell Ronnie, who called me everything in the book, but I couldn’t come to you even after I knew about the twins.”
“Wha-What!” Her eyes bulged. She leaned away from him. Despite the fact that she was trembling, she managed to ask, “R-Ronnie knew about you and Michelle?”
Justin willed the ground to open and swallow him right now. The common look of pain and devastation in Nina’s eyes ate at him. He closed his eyes.
“Ronnie knew and didn’t tell me!” She looked crushed. “First you, then Michelle, and now Ronnie too. I swear God has it in for me.”
“Nina, I”
“Unless you’re hiding anymore secrets from me…” Justin shook his head as if to tell her no. “Then I’m going home.” As Nina walked off, Justin called out to her. She remembered she had his basketball.
“I love you too.”
“Thanks…but no thanks.” Her smile was bitter as she released the basketball from her grasp. It sailed through the air as if a professional had done it. It made a beautiful plunge into the net. Sadly, as trivial as it seemed, it was the best thing to happen to her in a long time.