As Long as there is Love-Chapter 23
While her feet scurried across the tile floor, the sound of heels clicked noisily, echoing in the narrow hallway. Her eyes darted towards each door, reading the signage as she frantically searched for an exit. Shortly, when she found herself still confined to the reunion hall, she became impatient, furious even.
Nina stopped abruptly, finding a wall that she could rest against for a moment. Not a minute after, a body slammed into the back of her, shifting her unstable form. A pair of arms surrounded and balanced her immediately. She turned swiftly to find that Justin had come to her aid.
Instead of shouting at him to let her go, Nina stepped back quickly as if his touch burned her. In her mind however, she had been burned, emotionally, by lies from people she considered friends, loved-ones.
She wandered towards the wall and relaxed against it, ironically finding comfort in the concrete material.
Justin on the other hand stood and watched. He didn’t know the first thing to say out of his mouth. Quincy was supposed to follow Nina out here, but guilt led him to stop Quincy just before he rounded the corner.
“Nina I-”
“Nina I, what!” She shouted turning away from the wall but making no move towards him. “Huh? What do you have to say to me? You sorry ya didn’t tell me that you are marrying my ex-best friend. Is that what you wanna say, huh? Or that you couldn’t tell me about her at all?” Her bottom lip trembled while tears began to conquer her clear vision.
The back of her hand wiped roughly at her eyes before she spoke again. “Or that you are the biggest coward I know and on top of that you’re a liar.”
Prior to her last words, Justin stood and accepted whatever she had to dish out. He didn’t take offense knowing he deserved this and more, but being called a liar wasn’t it. What had he lied to her about?
“What have I lied to you about?”
“How long have you’ve been with Michelle?” Nina countered his question with one of her own.
Justin sucked his teeth. “I’m not answering that.”
Nina narrowed her eyes at him. “Cause you’re a coward.”
“No because you didn’t answer my question first.” Now it was Nina’s turn to suck her teeth. The audacity of him.
“I can’t believe you.” With her finger pointed in his direction, Nina stalked towards him, her skirt whipping around her nylon covered legs. “You have the audacity to say that you’re not a liar. That you didn’t know about the twins before I told you-”
“I didn’t, I-” Nina held up her hand to stop him.
“Yet you’re about to marry Michelle and she knew, so how the hell couldn’t you have known Justin?” Nina studied him through teary-eyes.
Justin’s mouth dropped opened, shut, and, opened again.
“Can you answer that, huh, liar?” Nina stressed him with questions, however, never giving him the opportunity to respond.
“Somebody’s lying and it ain’t me.” Justin mumbled faintly.
“What was that?”
Justin hadn’t replied as he was too caught up in his own thoughts. Michelle knew about the twins before he did. How was that possible? She hadn’t spoken to Nina at all in five years. If she had, she would’ve mentioned it to him. Still, he couldn’t say for sure if she would have since communication between them had been lacking as of lately.
Emerging from his trance, his eyes suddenly focused on Nina’s retreating form. He called out to her only asking where she was going rather than follow her.
She halted briefly, turning to him with a tight smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I’m going to have a nice friendly chat with your fiancée, don’t worry.” As if on a mission, she strutted towards the doors.
Justin sighed. When had everything gotten so complicated in his life?
Flashback
Winter 1999
Justin had just moved in the last of his belongings after returning from Memphis when a knock sounded at his dorm room door. “Come in Shelly.” He knew it was her even with his back turned. Also, she was the only person that had known he was returning to college before winter break officially ended.
“You need any help moving your stuff back in.” Michelle strolled into his room closing the door behind her.
“Nope I’m done. What about you?” Justin glanced at her.
Michelle began shaking her head with a grin. “I got some jocks to help me.”
“I know you got it like that.” Justin smirked.
Michelle lifted a brow. “Jealous?” She stood behind him, resting her cheek against his back.
“Not.” Justin quickly moved out of her arms that were reaching to encircle his waist. “Just homesick.” He sighed, unpacking his bed linens and pillows from a box.
“Already? You just got back man.” Michelle laughed while helping him unfold the sheets onto the mattress.
“I know but there are some things that I didn’t get to see, that I miss.” Miserably, he lowered himself onto the bed. Michelle followed suit, insisting on comforting him.
“You didn’t get to see Nina?” She questioned softly.
“No. Hell no. I was down there for more than a month and I saw her not one time. I talked to her on the phone and she said her parents wouldn’t let her out of the house cause she gotten into some trouble. I asked her what kind of trouble; she said she would have to tell me in person.” Justin slowly turned in her direction.
“When is she going to do that if her parents won’t let her out of the house?” Michelle only shrugged in response.
“Did you see her Shelly?” This time she nodded. “What did she do?”
“She wants to tell you, let her tell you.” Michelle opted not to reveal what she knew because she felt it wasn’t her place. Who knew how Justin would react if she told him that he was the one that had gotten Nina into trouble. He probably wouldn’t handle it very well. Still, she couldn’t grasp why Nina hadn’t told him yet. It had been months since Nina broke the news to her.
Abruptly, Justin’s phone began ringing. Michelle immediately reached over to answer it. Justin sighed in relief because he didn’t feel like talking to anyone.
“Hello.”
“Shelly? It’s you right?”
“Yeah, who is this?” She asked although she recognized the soft voice instantly.
“Me, Nina. Is Justin there? I need to talk to him right now.”
Michelle gulped, panicking. “You’re going to tell him now, right now?”
“Yeah. I have no choice.” Nina was panicking as well.
Hearing only Michelle’s end of the conversation, Justin became curious. “Who is that Shelly?”
Michelle jumped, covering the mouthpiece as she felt Justin’s breath on her neck. She didn’t know he was that close. “Uh, a friend.” That wasn’t lie.
“Why’d you give them my number? You have a phone.”
“Yeah, I know, but I told her that I would be in your room.” Justin only shook his head prior to unpacking the rest of his things.
“Hello.” Michelle resumed the conversation.
“So is he there? I want him to meet me downstairs.”
“What! You’re downstairs. How did you get here?”
“The train. Ronnie gave me some money to get here.”
“Where are you now?” Nina told her that she was in the waiting area using the receptionist’s telephone.
Michelle couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Nina had come to see Justin, take him back with her most likely, and away from her. She knew if Justin saw Nina pregnant, he would be lost to her forever.
“I’ll meet you downstairs and we’ll wait for him.” Michelle waited for Nina to agree before hanging up.
“Where are you off to?” Justin asked when he saw her rush for the door.
“Uh, I’ll be back.” She closed the door behind her with no intention of telling him to meet her and Nina downstairs.
Nina grasped onto the handles of each of the double doors, tossing them open as she made her way over to Michelle. During her strut, she heard someone calling her, though, brushing it off as only Justin following her. Surprisingly, it wasn’t Justin as she had thought, but Quincy, the man who had went from being her date to a man following her in the background.
“Nina what’s going on? Are you alright?” He invaded her path of choice.
“Peachy.” She retorted, stepping around him to locate Michelle again. Walking up behind her, Nina found her engaged in a conversation with an old female classmate. Her hand gestures were animated and speech lively as she told the woman about her upcoming nuptials.
The woman stepped aside immediately recognizing her behind Michelle. She gasped excitedly and clasped onto Nina’s right hand. Michelle stiffened once she discovered Nina’s presence.
“Nina it’s so good to see you. I was just asking Michelle about you. You look good.” The slightly tanned woman smiled brightly.
“Thanks, you too Melody.” Nina replied glancing over at an oddly silent Michelle.
“Aww I appreciate that. Though, I wish I could look like you do after two children.” Nina eyes instantly widened at her comment. Michelle must have revealed that when she asked about her.
“Oh your girl here was just telling me that she’s getting married…” Melody paused to stare at Michelle. “So who’s the lucky man?”
Michelle gulped, her gaze shooting from Nina’s to Melody’s and back to Nina’s, whose gaze never wavered.
“Justin is,” was uttered in a smooth, yet firm voice that was not Michelle’s, but Nina’s.
Melody, shocked, fumbled for a response, her gaze zooming in on Michelle who appeared to be embarrassed. “Justin? Your Justin?” She looked to Nina for an answer this time. Nina nodded.
Michelle on the other hand took a slight offense to Melody referring to Justin, her fiancé, as Nina’s Justin. However, in reality, Justin probably did still belong to Nina.
“Superstar Justin Timberlake?” Despite Nina’s reply, Melody was still confused.
“Yes. Superstar Justin. My daughters father, that Justin.” At that point, Melody seemed to choke on her own voice because she had no words for what Nina had just exposed.
“Wha-I-I have to get a drink.” Melody scurried away to the refreshments table. Nina looked after her, shaking her head slowly. She had no idea that that what she revealed would be the thing to send Melody away, leaving her alone with Michelle. Still, she was relieved.
Nina glanced at Michelle, who stood motionless like someone in a trance. Reaching her hand out, Nina tapped her on the shoulder. “Can I talk to you?” The way the words whispered from her lips, no one would have the slightest clue that she was boiling mad right now.
“Nina I don’t think we should-”
“It’ll only take a minute. I need some answers. You know I deserve them.”
Michelle caught a glimpse of Nina’s narrow glare before agreeing. “Okay. Let’s talk.”
Nina smiled tightly and turned on her heels to lead the way outside of the reunion hall. Her walk held an air of confidence that surprised even her. If she would have imagined this moment years ago, even months ago, she wouldn’t have considered herself to be this secure and calm. The once naïve Nina, that Justin had left hanging by a thin strand of vulnerability, would have exploded with anger and then tears, most likely making a fool of herself in front of everyone.
However, this Nina had taken a moment to examine herself, had converted her weaknesses to strengths and negatives to positives. She would have this conversation with Michelle and attempt to restrain her anger as she had done with Justin. And she would hear her side out, as she had not done with Justin. For her sanity’s sake, she had to know how Justin had ended up with Michelle and not her.
Quickly finding the exit this time around, Nina pushed open the doors, holding out one side for Michelle to walk through. Immediately, they had passed by Justin, who was resting his forearms against the railing while getting some much-needed air. He straightened when he saw them. Any words that he’d spoken were ignored, yet, each woman turned back to glance at him at one time or another.
Nina halted her steps when she found a secluded area where they could talk. She turned to Michelle. “I’m gonna try to make this brief so I have one question for you. Why?”
“Why?” Michelle murmured baffled. “Why, what?”
“Why is he with you? Why are you marrying him? And why did y’all feel ya’ll had to keep it a secret from me only for me to find out like this?” The confidence in her brown eyes diminished a bit as she continued.
“Why has it been five years since I’ve seen you? Why did our friendship end? Why was it that every time I called Justin’s dorm room you answered the phone? Why didn’t you ever tell him that I had been pregnant? If you did, why didn’t you tell him to contact me? Why did you take him from me?” Her last question was almost lost in the mist of tears that were now rushing down her round face. Although she didn’t want to give Michelle the satisfaction, Nina covered her face with both palms and cried into her hands as the overwhelming feeling of being hurt consumed her.
Michelle, much like Justin before her, stood and watched. What could she really do that would make Nina feel better? Be the friend you should be. Answer some of her questions. She told herself.
Meanwhile, Nina wandered over to a nearby bench so that she could be alone, sit and cry by herself. Michelle bit down hard on her lower lip and slipped down quietly beside Nina, who stiffened once aware of her presence.
While in her slouch position, Nina stared up at her. In her gaze, Michelle recognized sadness, anger, frustration, pain, and most of all disappointment. Disappointment in her as a friend, she figured.
“You know I confided in you about everything. I told you shit that Ronnie doesn’t even know. And you betray me. What the hell kind of friend were you?” Nina hugged her arms as a cool breeze passed through. “Huh? Who does that to her friend and not tell her about it of all things?” She shifted in her seat so that she was facing Michelle.
“If you were interested in him and him in you, someone should’ve told me. Y’all had me sitting home thinking everything was good, all I had to do was tell Justin what was going on with me and I wouldn’t have to worry. How y’all played me for a fool.”
Michelle nibbled on her lower lips again; truly unsure of what to say being that she hadn’t spoken one word since they had come out. She inhaled deeply. “Justin is with me because I was the one he turned to when he missed you. I comforted him.” Suddenly, Nina glared at her.
“Not like that. We only talked. I was trying to instill hope in him that your relationship with him wasn’t over. Though, it was partly my fault the way it ended.” Her gaze drifted away from Nina’s face to her hands in her lap. “You’re right I was answering every one of your phone calls. And almost every time Justin was in the room.” Nina eyes were fixed in a defiant stare. She hadn’t known the extent of Michelle’s betrayal.
“What about the time I came to visit, was he there?” Nina whispered, distraught.
Michelle nodded, ashamed. “Sitting right next to me.” Nina opened her mouth to form words Michelle already knew.
“Why, right? Because I was jealous. At first, I didn’t tell him you were pregnant because I felt that it wasn’t my place to. Yet, soon it turned into jealousy, an ugly form of it. I wanted what you and Justin had. And I know if he would have seen you that day, he would’ve married you, that same day probably.” She laughed quietly.
“You two would’ve become a family, something I desired to have since I was little.”
“So you figured you’d steal one?” Nina asked, sniffling.
Michelle shrugged. “I guess. I don’t know I was stupid. My intention wasn’t to hurt anyone. Or cheat Justin out of seeing his kids. I hadn’t known if you kept the baby, but it still wasn’t right. I was looking out for only my happiness. What my parents robbed me of when I was little. I don’t know, but have you ever felt like you were a burden to your own parents, being ignored as if you were a fly on the wall or dust on a lamp?” Michelle waved her hand to stress her point.
“That’s how I felt. And it’s just that when Justin and I were in college together, he paid attention to me and I wasn’t used to that so I took it as more. I admit…I was forcing myself on him, but he wasn’t taking it until he was sure you and him were over. He loved you that much.” Nina scoffed in response.
“I guess the fact that I was comforting him when no one else was made him suddenly attracted to me. Of course, I used that to my advantage and we began a relationship.”
“When did this happen?” Nina propped her elbows on her knees curiously.
“About the summer of ‘99.” Her words cracked as she felt her throat go dry. Nina nodded defeated. “What is it?” Michelle questioned uncomfortably.
“About the same time I was having the twins, y’all was hugged up with each other.” Ironically, Nina answered with a smirk. Michelle lowered her head, ashamed even more. What kind of friend was she? Indeed.
“Was it a difficult birth?”
“Yup.” Nina replied simply. “I went into shock, had to undergo a c-section. The twins were born premature.” Michelle felt that an apology would be a weak attempt at saving face so she remained silent.
“You don’t have to say you’re sorry. It won’t change a thing. I’ll still be bitter until I get over it.” She laughed tightly. “Besides the rest of my issues are with Justin. Oh and I respect the fact that you were honest with me.” Nina paused, her eyes falling on Michelle. “You were honest with me, right?”
“Completely. That’s what you deserved.” Michelle replied. This time when Nina smiled slightly, it was one of sincerity.
“Can I be honest with you again?” Michelle spoke up again. Nina nodded. “I was scared to death to have this conversation. Justin was scared too, he didn’t want to hurt you. But I was terrified, knowing all the things I had lied about.”
“It’s okay. I won’t hold it against you for now.” Nina responded, sensibly, knowing all the issues Michelle had to deal with inside herself.
“Damn, Justin was right. You were always more mature than me.” Strangely enough, Michelle’s unexpected comment brought forth quiet laughter from the two women and expectations of renewing a friendship.